In the Womb
Standing in the Gap
Benefits of Witnessing
The Air of Heaven
Benefits of On-site Witnessing
by Betty Baker Bailey
From a ProLife forum in answer to a directive from Pro-Aborts for me to "mind my own business"
This post is about the value of onsite witnessing to mothers and fathers in crisis. Some here seem to argue largely from a philosophical level or from a viewpoint that is exceedingly narrow - one or two experiences at most. What I'm posting here are real incidents that are representative of other similar incidents where witnessing made a huge difference in peoples' lives. These are not urban legends. I know because I lived them.
One mother went into the abortuary eyeing us curiously. I called out asking her if she wouldn't rather have a handmade baby blanket and cuddle her child instead of killing it. She went on in, but had her friend come out to ask if it were really true. My "yes" brought her out almost immediately. She had been under the misguided assumption that no one really cared what happened to her or her child. We gave her multiple blankets, lots of clothes, and other assistance. She would surely have aborted her child that day had we not been onsite. This mother thanked us that day and others, because she came by at least a couple more times to let us know how much she appreciated our being there. (By the way, we've had several mothers tell us they just didn't think anyone cared.)
Another incident involved a grandmother who brought her daughter in. Until she heard us calling to her, she hadn't stopped to think about it being her grandchild that she wanted aborted. All it took was the statement that the child in the womb is one-of-a-kind and irreplaceable. As it turned out, it was two unique individuals -- twins. And when the grandmother did stop to think, she also discovered her daughter in no way wanted to abort her children. What a disaster we adverted that day. Two wanted children would have died and mother and daughter would have had serious issues between them. They gratefully took blankets and thanked us repeatedly for saving their children.
One man brought his lady in, dumped her, and hastily beat his retreat. On the way out, he paused long enough for me to ask what he thought he was doing. He smilingly assured me he was just the "chauffeur". I smiled back as I asked him if I really looked that stupid and if he thought Jesus would approve. (Before you start, no, I don't always ask this. It just seemed the right thing at the time.) He laughed and drove off. A little later he came back and pulled up alongside where we were standing. I went over and we began to have a very pleasant conversation about right, wrong, and Christianity. After constantly insisting he had no control over the situation, he finally admitted it was his child and the mother did not want to abort. Further, it was only at his insistence that she was even there. I really didn't have to say much at that point. A look of "excuse me?" seemed enough. He went right in, brought her right out, and thanked us profusely for being there. Now what do say about this mother? She hadn't been given a choice. But, thanks to the onsite witness, she did get one before it was too late.
Another young man was afraid of the consequences - both of killing his child and of not hiding his indiscretion. He drove by me repeatedly, stopping almost every time to talk just a little. He was shaking like a leaf and chain smoking. Finally, he stopped and asked me just what he should do. Our previous conversations had revealed the guilt of forcing his girlfriend to kill his child was literally tearing him apart. I won't post all of our conversation here, because it was lengthy. But the reality was that he was a God fearing young man who couldn't have lived with himself had he gone through with the abortion. His girlfriend in no way wanted one anyway. My presence reminded him of his Godly grandmother which made him realize that life was the only choice he could deal with. Although I did tell him to go get her out, it was the decision he had obviously wanted to make all along. He and his grateful girlfriend came out thanking us for caring enough to be there for them.
Still another incident involved an Asian mother who couldn't understand how there could be "so much blood" (on seeing an aborted child on the "Truth Truck"). She kept saying just that to herself over and over again. She honestly thought that the child she carried was just a fleshy blob. She believed the "life" was in the blood, but she was operating under the assumption that there would not be any. She drove up and started talking to us about the picture - asking if that were really an aborted child. We assured her it was. If we hadn't been there to discuss this with her, she may have just gone on in. Can you imagine her guilt if she hadn't found out until it was too late? Given her state of horror when we spoke, I think it may well have been more than she could have borne. As it was she left crying and shaking from the mistake she almost made, but thanking us gratefully for being there.
There was the mother who rode the bus through several states to get here for a "free" abortion. This woman obviously had serious mental issues. She had no money and no place to stay. And she was all alone. She came walking into the abortuary and asking that the abortionist do the procedure for free. Of course, he promptly showed her the door. We spent days trying to help this woman. In the end, her needs were met - clothes, food, etc. and one of her relatives offered to adopt her child. Although she went into the abortuary several times, they always just turned her away. Given her obvious mental anguish, there's no telling what would have happened to her had no one been there for her. Her relatives, who apparently did not know she had gone for the abortion, were very grateful that we had cared for her.
Then there are those that have come for a "procedure" not knowing what that procedure was. As bizarre as this sounds, we've seen it here. The situation sometimes arises when the patient and companion don't speak English. Apparently, on occasion, no one bothers to translate. When we see someone who acts confused and possibly doesn't speak English, we try to get someone who speaks their language to come out to speak with them. We've had them respond, after being told their appointment was with an abortionist, with great horror and disgust. One even argued, she didn't think she was pregnant! Fortunately, we were able to get her a sonogram, which proved she was indeed expecting. This couple assured us they would not have even come if they had known what they were coming for. Granted we can't actually say that the abortionist wouldn't have gotten a translator before performing the abortion, because it never went that far. But given that there were other similar incidents, one has to wonder what would have happened were no witnesses on-site.
And then there are those who abort before they realize their mistake. The abortuary employees aren't sympathetic with them - at least here they're not. No, they want them out of the way. A grieving mother is bad for business. If no witness is onsite to comfort these women and offer them help, they just don't get it. At least not right away. On-site witnesses, including myself, have repeatedly been known to put themselves in harm's way to comfort a grieving mother. When you label us the enemy, this is who you attack, someone who cares enough to act on their convictions with compassion even in the worse case scenario.
Last, but certainly not least, there are the children. When innocent human beings are killed, regardless of the rationale that approves it, those who see it for the abomination it is must protest. To not do so implies approval or acceptance. To not do so says those victims don't matter. For those of us who see them as precious little children it is essential that we stand up for them. When mankind ceases to care for his/her fellowman, then we become no better than animals - putting our own personal, individual desires ahead of the needs of others. Further, to say we shouldn't protest is to say we have no right to our own beliefs, and essentially, that only what the state approves should be espoused. You may want to live in a culture like that, but I certainly don't.
So, when you ask me to stop witnessing onsite, what I hear is you saying that your individual experience or your intellectual argument is more important than the experiences or beliefs of those I've helped. I hear it as your "right to kill" in private trumps their need for assistance. And I can't help but think, how selfish can you be?
These people may not matter to you and you may think their situations irrelevant, but they do matter to us. They matter to me. I've been there to see their faces, to dry their tears. Yet, you think I should listen when you tell me to "mind my own business"? You're either too far removed from the reality of the situation or too calloused to make the call. What you need to do is open up your heart to the reality that witnessing on-site meets definite needs. First, to fill in the gaps where assistance is necessary and second, to state the truth of abortion - that children are being killed, mothers are being wounded and killed, and that it really does matter, at least to some of us.
(It should be stated here that not everyone is called to witness on-site. To be an effective witness takes a calling from the Lord. It is a difficult and hazardous job that should not be entered into lightly. The devil doesn't give up his prey easily. Those that are called are equipped by the Lord and clearly work in the Spirit. For those who do not believe they are called, there are other things that need to be done for the children. No one should think less of themselves simply because they aren't called to be witnesses, but rather look for the position our Lord has for you -- for there you will be blessed and be a blessing to others.)
Children of the Heart © 2008